Abundance Day 6

The first six days of the abundance meditation occured in conjunction with a healing retreat I was participating in where the focus was ultimately to remember the self. I practiced meditating on abundance during and in between entrainments and generally existed in a semi-trance state moving gently to a heart opening and reconnection with the self.

I watched with the observer eye as the two parts of my self recognized and acknowleged one another, on the shore of the ocean that brought in all that I could want and imagine - the controlling self whose will and stamina and strength can create anything, and the creative self whose openness and curiosity and pure love can allow for anything. They are blonde and brunette, regal and magical, serious and playful and both very much me.

Now, home in NYC, the experience of meditating on abundance is gentler, and as I sat in my living room this morning and brought my mind continually back to one, I noticed the limitations of my wanting. I recognized the flow and recognized that I would like to develop a capacity for wanting, a capacity for the richness of life, a capacity for receiving. It is a question of space, of allowing the proper time, energy, quiet in to make room for receiving.

My healing weekend, my abundance meditation began with a question about allowing for synchronicity. And then it shifted to the play between synchronicity and control, and then it shifted again to a real understanding of the polarities of synchronicity and control. And this understanding comes full circle back to the question of allowing for abundance. To allow for abundance means to be open to all possibility, to dream the unimaginable, and to expect everything. It requires that I accept that synchronicity exists and will show up in my life when I allow space for it, when I let go of control.